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Ebook: ESP - Effective Single Parenting

for Single, Divorced and Widowed Parents

30-page e-book
by Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE

Get E.S.P. (Effective Single Parenting) and You Will Learn...

THE FACTS ABOUT SINGLE PARENTING


  • The Myths/Truths about Single Parenting. Take a True/False quiz. Then read what research studies have learned about the effects of single parenting. Some of the results may surprise you! 

  • The Benefits of Single Parenting. While single parents often hear a lot of negative comments about being a single parent, there are some special benefits you might not have thought of!

"Out of all the books I have and research I’ve done, yours is the best resource on single parenting I’ve ever found. It pulls it all together puts it all in order." --- Diana Santiago Rice, Masters Student in Mental Health Counseling @ NSU

THE TOP 10 CHALLENGES ALL SINGLE PARENTS FACE

There are many different “types” of single parents, but all of them face some common issues. This section summarizes the universal issues all single parents face and the skills needed to be Effective Single Parents. They include:
  1. Dealing with the Aloneness – Do you ever feel like you have to be everything to everyone? Is it difficult coping with everyday challenges all alone? And what about dealing with some of the most difficult times of your life? You don’t have to “go it alone.” Just follow these tips for what you can do to help you and your child “fill the void.” 
  2. Having a Lack of Support – You may get support from extended family and friends when there is an emergency, but unless they are also single parents, they probably can’t related to the issues and feelings you experience daily. You need to network with other single parents, who truly “get” what single parenting is like. This section tells you how.
  3. Deciding If, When and How to Date –  Dating provides an opportunity for singles to have a life beyond parenting. But when it comes to choosing potential dates and introducing them to your children, there are some specific things you need to consider and do. This section will give you some suggestions for easing into dating.
  4. Coping with Grief and Loss Issues – Single parents and their children have often lost many things simultaneously, so grief and separation issues are almost universal. How you handle your and your child’s grief and loss issues is extremely important. This section will help you better understand what you and your child are experiencing and offer some suggestions for working through difficult times in healthy ways.
  5. Handling the Financial Stress – Unless you are the heir to a fortune, you probably have fewer financial resources than two-income families. This section offers some helpful tips for doing more than “surviving” — learn how you can financially thrive and provide long-term financial stability for your children.
  6. Meeting Household Responsibilities – If you are a single parent, chances are your children help out more around the house than children from two-parent families. This section offers suggestions for maintaining balance, so you don’t become a servant and your children don’t become slaves.
  7. Not Having Enough Time – Single parents frequently feel overwhelmed by the responsibility, tasks, and emotional overload of raising children alone. As a result, single parents need better-than-average time-management and organizational skills to balance work and family — and know how to delegate or ask for help when necessary. This section will tell you the skills you need.
  8. Managing the Stress and Anger – Single parenting is stressful, so you need to prevent and manage stress build-up before you explode! This section will tell you the signs to look for in your children, to tell if they are experiencing too much stress and some helpful tips for what you and your child can do to manage your stress in healthy ways.
  9. Providing Consistent Parenting – Children need stability and security. While this is important for all children, it is especially crucial for children of single parents. This section will give you specific tips for maintaining balance in your life and providing the consistency and stability your children need.
  10. Building and Maintaining the Family’s Self-Esteem – Do you ever feel guilt because you don’t have a “Leave it to Beaver” family? Well few people do these days. You need to tend to your self-esteem issues so you will have enough reserves to take care of your children’s self-esteem. This section offers suggestions for how you can nurture yourself and build your child’s self-esteem.


WHO ARE SINGLE PARENTS AND WHAT ARE THEIR SPECIAL NEEDS?

While all single parents experience some common challenges, the reason someone is a single parent can pose special challenges. Look at the special issues some single parents face and special tips for each of the following “types” of single parents: 
  • Part-time single parents, who are temporarily parenting solo because their spouse is on an extended absence, due to reasons such as military service or business travel.
  • Unwed Parents, in this case, teen moms and dads who must give up the freedom of a child-free single life — while getting none of the advantages of marriage or spousal support.
  • Divorced Single Parents deal with the additional pressures and potential problems that can arise when maintaining an ongoing relationship with the ex-spouse. This section offers special tips around issues such as fostering teamwork between divorced parents, support and visitation issues, and special issues custodial and non-custodial parents face.
  • Widow(er)s  – face very unique issues related to how they became single parents, which are often neglected in single-parent resources. This section addresses these special needs and what widow(er)s can do to help themselves and their children make the often-unexpected transition to a one-parent family.
  • Single Parents by Choice are the fastest growing family form in the U.S. today. Choosing to be a single parent has its benefits — and its special issues. We look at the three most common choices parents make to become a single parent and suggestions for addressing the special needs that choice presents.
    • Artificial insemination, surrogate parentage, or unwed by choice
    • Single parent adoption
    • Kinship Caregivers of children who are separated (temporarily or permanently) from their biological parents.

WHAT RESOURCES ARE AVAILABLE FOR SINGLE PARENTS?

There are nearly 100 resources for single parents included. Check them out, using the live, active links and current contact information. There are three types of resources in this section: 
  • Resources for single parents, including Books, Support Groups, Internet Resources, Articles and personal Coaching
  • Bibliography of the resources the author used in compiling this e-book.]
  • References to the specific endnotes cited throughout this e-book.

The Author

Jody Johnston Pawel, LSW, CFLE, CTSS wrote this comprehensive article on single parenting after researching hundreds of resources on the subject of single parenting. She then compiled the most startling statistics, fascinating facts, and practical tips for single parents. Whether you are a single mom or single dad; single by choice, divorce or death, you will feel understood and affirmed, while learning helpful hints for handling the most common issues all single parents experience and the special challenges some single parents face as a result of their individual circumstances.  

Join Other Single Parents who Have Graduated from Parents Toolshop® courses

Let This E-book be the Beginning of your Relationship with Parents Toolshop®

After reading this book, consider attending a Parents Toolshop® course. Here's what other single parents who have attended the class have to say about them.

Single & Divorced Parents Like Parents Toolshop® Classes

I especially like the Universal Blueprint®. It gives me a tangible, visual way to organize all that I learned and use the ‘tools’ to their full potential. My professional training uses similar teaching methods, so it’s great to learn about parenting using the same process. Parenting is never easy, but this book makes it easy to understand. Mike Lowery, father of eight children

This book is incredible. Every chapter is so comprehensive. I learn so much. When I finish a chapter I think the next one can’t possibly be as good – – but it always is! I’ve read many books by the likes of Scott Peck, Stephen Covey and Melody Beattie. The Parent’s Toolshop pulls it all together and shows you how to live these revelations. This book is not just about parenting. Jeff Smith, father of two children

I recommend the class to anyone that has the desire to prepare their children for the real world that waits them. — Mark Pfiffner, father of two children

The Parent’s Toolshop has given me some great tools to improve my relationships with both my children and others that I work, meet, and deal with. It has shown me areas that I can improve in for how I relate with my children. It has reinforced and strengthened areas in my life. I have the book now as a resource to go back to and refer to over the coming years. Garth Stolz, father of two children

What I really got out of The Parent’s Toolshop was how to control my temper, not to shout and yell so much about everything that happens and to spend a little more time with my children and other kids in the neighborhood. — Charles Epps, father of three children

I liked this book because it gave me power – not over my child, but over the situation and myself. It also empowers my children to be in control of themselves. I’m spending less time being in power struggles and she’s learning to make choices. I know, now, that there is going to be a solution to every problem. I especially like the fact that the book tells me what to do, instead of what not to do. Bonnie Sessely, single mother of one child

For the past three weeks, my son and I have had the most peaceful times in years! I didn’t want to admit that I was the one that needed changing, but it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. I know that I am basically teaching myself the concepts, but if you hadn’t had the forethought or the ideas to begin with, I wouldn’t be this much farther ahead. Thanks for all your efforts, from the bottom of my heart.” — Mary Keferl, single mother of a teenage son

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